Read Me In Case of Extreme Dread
Not perhaps a corporaty post… but I am quite curious how this connects. Speaks to a good part of my experience….. and yes, this is one of the assignments from Martha Becks’s Writing Into Light course. My theory here is that we have forgotten that companies are made up of people and until we do th culture will stay stuck!
No! Being late for a meeting because of (insert traffic, over sleep, sick child, dentist, here) doesn’t count. It needs to be extreme dread. Think standing in front of your boss and his boss and a bunch of other really powerful, judgy people who hold your destiny in their hands and your team has dropped the ball! Only, they aren’t here, you are and now you have to explain why you haven’t delivered (not why they haven’t) and no one seems to care that actually you weren’t the one doing anything.
For ‘boss’ insert any other authority figure (fathers work well) whose opinion you value and who can punish you if they aren’t happy. Oh yes, and the reason you are in this pickle is because of someone else’s actions.
Still reading ?
Here it is…
“Anyone expecting you to be accountable for what someone else says, does or doesn’t do…is INSANE!
Yes, you heard me, INSANE!
Let me say it again! Anyone (no matter how respected or revered, I mean anyone) who expects you to ‘make’ someone else do something and then punish and blame you if they don’t is living in la la land!
They have lost all touch with reality!
Yes, I know that is how companies work and that is why you are a manager. I am here to tell you what you have always known, it’s a lie!
I can see you aren’t convinced, so let’s take it one step at a time.
When last did fear and punishment get you the results you needed?
How many times have you had to resort to micro management or doing most of it just so it gets done right ?
No rush, take your time.
Still not convinced ?
Ok, when last were you able to make someone fall in love with you ?
And out of love with you ?
Tell me where I am wrong here (this is one of Martha Beck”s phrases and I just love it because it creates a space for disagreement and it is is in disagreement that we find innovation and learning)
Here is what comes next. You either do what you have always done – take the blame, hate yourself and force yourself through the shame and self loathing – or you don’t! The choice is yours!
Yes, just, stop!
Let out that righteous anger!
Say HELL NO! I won’t take the blame or punishment for someone else! Your consequences are yours, not mine !
Because fellow explorer, the truth is that you aren’t a slave master! You are a Gardner! When a plant doesn’t grow you don’t withhold water and sun to punish it and so make it grow! No! You nurture it and provide the right conditions so it can do the miraculous, grow on its own!
So just stop!
Step aside so that they can finally stand in their lives! Your job is big enough. They are strong enough! Step aside so they can remember how to grow. They know how, they always have. Your value was never dependent on others, it was always safely inside you, waiting for you to see it!
This lesson is done! It’s time to move on! Take the door marked ‘ Gardner’ and be on your way!
Sent from my iPad