written Nov 27 2008
Who we are is not how we behave. How we behave is a habit, a habit of being and habits can be changed.

I remember a long while back sitting in my office in absolute despair. I just did not know what it was I was doing wrong…nor did my boss. We both knew I had to change something, that they way I was – the way I reacted and behaved – was not creating the results I wanted, but for the life of me I did not know how to be different. I did not need counseling or therapy. I needed a new way of being. I needed a new habit of being me.
I had heard Einstein’s saying that the height of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results, but that was no help. I was stuck on how! How to behave differently when my entire life was about getting me to where I was at! I remember the frustration because it was not that I did not want to change – I just had no clue what the new me looked like or behaved like.
Understanding that they way we behave creates the results we experience is not a conscious understanding, especially if the way you behave has gotten you to a certain level of success. But sooner or later, we all reach a ceiling and if you want to carry on rising something has to change.

Which is where coaching comes in and especially consciousness coaching. With consciousness coaching the focus is on creating an awareness of how you behave now and the results you actually want. The phrase ‘what do you want’ sounds rather obvious but think about it ? When you talk do you talk about what you want to happen or what you do not want to happen ?

One of the least known rules of the universe is what you think about expands! So when you are thinking about what you don’t want, you get more of what you don’t want. The other thing about thinking about what you don’t want is that you create a vacumn. You are taking away something…. and immediately the universe starts to fill up that space. But it has nothing new to fill it up with, so you get more of the same.
When you are trying to change the habit you have of being, you need to focus on what it is you are trying to create. When you do that the old behaviour no longer has a place to exist because you are replacing it rather than evicting it…and life is much, much smoother.Which brings me back to a new habit of being! The way we behave is not set in stone, we can change it! If we know what we want, we know what behaviours we need to get there. So what is stopping you from getting it ?