Opening Yourself Up to Possibility – Paradigm Shifting/ Using Your Point of View
Your point of view creates your reality, a reality you defend at the cost of what you really want
I love the way the world sometimes aligns for me. This weekend I have been pondering the meaning of ‘right’. What is right ? What is wrong ? Not easy questions to answer. The moment I started to question how I saw ‘right’ (see my blog on why you need to question more), my world started to open up and I suddenly noticed how much categorising things into right and wrong drives my life.
I started to wonder if the entire idea of ‘right and true’ wasn’t another illusion designed to trap me.
What if there is no truth at all, just customised points of view ?
What if I didn’t have to react to or respond to or in any way engage with opposing points of view at all ? Now that question got me thinking, presenting a tantalising view of freedom and harmony. Imagine living a day not getting upset with people because what they are doing or saying or how they are behaving was wrong ? The relief! The worry.. could I ? Should I ?
Every point of view, (or truth) is in fact true and right BUT for that unique set of circumstances that are in turn unique to its owner. It is easier to think of points of view as a chip flavour. Is there a ‘right’ chip flavour ? I would say ‘no’ based on the fact that if there were, there would be only one flavour and that is most certainly not the case. Simplistic I know, but sometimes it really is that simple.
How Your Point of View Runs Your Day
Still not sure how damaging holding onto a point of view can be ? Take a moment to observe yourself in a normal day. How much of the day is spent categorising things into ‘right’ (accept) and ‘wrong’ (ignore and or attack) ? Now take a look at how you have been driving your behaviour based on those judgements.
I instantly move into defence – a horrid place where the other person must be punished or taught that what they think and are doing is wrong, wrong, wrong! Not a pleasant aspect of myself to own! It has also been a very hard one to ‘find’, appearing throughout my career and creating drama, havoc and serious limitations. It is exhausting if nothing else and I am at that point in my life where I am over making my life extra hard. It is time to let go, but how ? That is always the question, how ?
Points of View that Limit You @Work
Working in a diverse team that spans multiple disciplines this idea that there is one right becomes severely limiting. Each role has their own truth and we can spend hours fighting over which one is in fact right. If you pay particular attention you will see how people are willing to sacrifice getting the outcome they want just to be right. It stops being about the best solution and becomes about accepting them by accepting their truth.
The moment a team shifts from defending individual positions to accepting that there is truth in everyone’s stand is the moment the team shifts into creating. When the team starts to actively select aspects of individual truths that fit the problem that needs to be solved is the moment you start to create solid, strong solutions and in so doing, create careers that get noticed.
Points of View that Limited me In Diving
This idea that there can only be one right way of doing things had me trapped in diving for years. Only three people had ever been below 200 meters which meant the safe and right way to do things was to copy the way they had done it. There was just one problem, I was not a man and there was no way I could copy someone like Nuno Gomes (the current world record holder). I was ostracised for not being a good follower. I wanted to know why, why do it that way and not this ? Why would my way not work ? The funny thing, no-one every had a solid, good answer. Which was finally what made me let go of their truth and start to create my own way, one that talked to my strengths and the uniqueness of the dive I wanted to do. That was the first (but not last) time I started to think for myself and create my own answers.
Why each right is in fact right, but maybe not for you
- People are varied, unique and diverse. You aren’t the same as the person sitting next to you, nor should you be. Who you are is a blend of the people you have met, the words you have heard and you experiences all of which have created a unique perspective.
- Your ‘right’ comes from your history and supports what you choose and what you want – it all fits together.
- You seldom make choices that are not ‘right’.
- To say that there is only one right would mean that everyone is exactly the same and do you really want to be the same as everyone else ?
How to change it and create new possibilities
Yes, we are talking about a favourite theme of mine, the fact that thoughts create reality simply because you react to life based on how you perceive the situation. Which means the way to change it is to start to become aware of it. How does access consciousness create awareness of this rather limiting behaviour of ours ? By actively noticing it with a simple statement, Interesting point of view, I have that point of view! Or my version, How interesting that I have that interesting point of view.
Why you need to let go of your point of view
Your points of view create your position – a place that governs the way you filter the information you are given and your behaviour, actions, thoughts and words. But are these thoughts really yours in the first place ? Where did they come from ?
The fundamental truths that you cling to are invariably inherited from the people who influenced you the most (parents and culture being strong contenders here). These points of view are often deeply entrenched into cultures, families and societies making it exceptionally hard to break free because that would put you ’outside’.
The problem is not so much the points of view we have, but rather how they use us. We defend them tirelessly. We allow them to side track us from what we want. The result is that you are continually at war with people with different points of view, trying to convert them to yours (if more people believe it to be true then it must be right ?).
But does this work for you or against you ? When you are defending a point of view, are you able to see and use other possibilities or has your vision narrowed ? Never mind that, how does it feel to be continually defending and arguing for a point of view ? I am exhausted. I am tired of having to fight all the time. I am tired of the struggle. I am also tired of it getting in the way of me being able to create the outcome I would prefer.
How often do your thoughts limit you and prevent you from exploring new possibilities because they are on the other side of what you think is ‘right’.
Next time you feel yourself closing off because you are in the ‘wrong place’ or the person talking to is just plain ‘wrong’. Stop and go, hmm, Interesting Point of View I have this interesting point of view. And keep saying that until you feel the energy in the moment relax its hold on you.
“Interesting Point of View, I have this interesting Point of View”
Allow yourself to be open to the world! Allow others their space and their point of view. Stop focusing on defending positions and instead start to use your energy to create the life you really want to live.
If you would like more about Interesting Points of View click here to listen to a more detailed explanation from the founders of Access Consciousness