[author] [author_image timthumb=’on’]https://spydrone.co.za/verna/?attachment_id=444 [/author_image] [author_info]Verna van Schaik holds the Guinness World Record for the Deepest Dive by a Woman (on Scuba). She is a passionate believer that limits are choices and that anyone can create any dream, no matter how large. ” Who you are is not set in stone, it is a choice you make and that choice more than any other affects whether or not you reach your dream” [/author_info] [/author] I never know whether to focus on using the word vision or dream. One is very corporate, the other more personal  but, call it what you will, both focus on something you wish to create and both require a particular form clarity if you want to actually create what you want. You may think you do not need to get clearer on what you want and you would be right, most of us are very clear about ‘there’ – a new car, a new house, a new job, a new partner… the list is endless. Or are you ?

When you finally get ‘there’ how often do you find yourself bitterly disappointed ? And what do you do next ? Blame the specific circumstances and you then redefine them, changing the people, changing the location, changing the physical aspects. But, and this is a very important but, all you are doing is creating a different version of the same answer.

Why Being Too Specific is a Problem

If you are too specific about what you want you severely limit the ‘how’. You are in fact forcing the outcome into one and only one end. What is wrong with that ? Well, we seldom really know what we want, instead we create solutions that we think will fulfill what we want and then, when we get exactly that, it turns out to be nothing like what we expected. So what do we do ? We get even more specific (now the new boyfriend has to drive a merc and have black hair and, and, and…).

The other problem is that as individuals  have very limited imaginations. If we have not experienced something before we seldom see it as an ‘answer’, so we tend to come up with the same solutions and the same things that we want. This means we get stuck in ground hog day, repeating the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome.

What is the solution ?

Instead of focusing on the solution, focus on how it will feel if you get the change you want. Imagine yourself in a new job or a new relationship. Don’t focus on the specifics, but rather what it feels like to be there. Now create a vision around that. This is a very clear and specific vision BUT it allows for many more solutions than what you can imagine. It also means you have to stop micro-managing the process and so forcing the universe to go the way you think it should. You need to step back and just focus on already being ‘there’ and then, keep an eye out for opportunities as they arrive, never discarding something just because it doesn’t fit the way you thought it should be.

This technique also allows you to really disconnect from the outcome as you are allowing for any outcome that generates those feelings.

What to Practice

I call it Living Vision and it something you need to get into the habit of doing. If you do nothing else, start changing how you see ‘there’. Stop being specific about how your outcome is physically manifested and instead get very clear about what it will feel like to be ‘there’

–          Focus on how it would feel if you were already ‘there’

This is a new habit, so become aware of how often you try and insist that your solution is the true one.

–          Let go of how you think it should be or what you think the ‘answer’ is

Start to become more present to what is around you. What do you already have ? How can you use that ?

–          Watch for opportunities, taking each one that appears into consideration and letting go of filtering out unusual one’s

Allow it to happen, rather than throw all your energy at ‘making’ it happen.

–          Let go of forcing the outcome or managing each step of the way. How do you let go ? Stop holding on ? How do you hold on ? By obsessively repeating thoughts that enforce what you want to be true (your storyline, but that is another blog topic entirely).

If you manage to practice nothing else, let yourself go into your dream – imagine you are there, feel it, breathe it…but most of all feel it…and then make sure you chase that feeling, doing what needs to be done to create that. I found my husband the moment I let go of the physical description of who he should be and instead focused on who I would  be with the right partner. I created my world record the moment I let go of how I thought I should get there and instead focused on who I would be if I were already there. What would it feel like if your dream came true ? Who would you be…when you are ‘there’ ?