The Difference Between Helping & Coaching
It always astonishes me what lessons there are to be learnt in coaching, this weeks is how entrenched the concept of being helped is in our society. Here is the thing, in coaching you are not given answers. You are not helped. If there is one fundamental philosophy in coaching it is that as a coach I stand for your greatness. What that means is that I give you the space to find your answers. When I give you an answer I am disabling and disempowering you. I am saying that I know better and how could that possibly be ? How could I know where you are at ? Where you have come from and what would work for you ? All I know is what worked for me and as a totally unique individual that may or may not connect with you.
What I am discovering is that as individuals we somehow get taught not to trust our own answers. We would rather have someone else’s answer – those are somehow more powerful. Your answer is somehow better than anything I can find for myself. We seem to inherently believe that we do not know enough, that we are less than the guru or mentor we look up to and aspire to be. So when someone comes along who gently refuses to give answers and help we do not know what to do! We resist, fight back! We demand help! Yet help is the one thing that will always, keep you disempowered and reliant on some-one else. When you rely totally on outside help to change your circumstances you create an even stronger sense of victimisation and resignation. You are always waiting! You are always relying on someone else! You are always out of control and subject to someone else’s whims and abilities. Your success depends on theirs.
My stand remains the same – I stand for my own greatness and the greatness of the people around me! I believe that we were all meant to reconnect with our own power and that is a vision I can not let go of. So, why do you value other people’s answers over your own ? More importantly, what answers could you find for yourself ?