LEADER (as a participant in the room),  ” So we all agree it is…..” or the faster, “Does everyone agree ?”

ROOM ….. some nods, mostly that suspicious silence that indicates disagreement

LEADER (as a participant in the room)… takes silence as agreement and carries on

Sound familiar ?

‘Does everyone agree’ Forces Compliance

It closes the space to differences, forces consensus and creates compliance. It also relies on others perception of your authority and their willingness to submit to what you have declared as being the ‘right’ answer!
Even more insidious, this simple sentence and its many variants subtly takes away dignity from people by telling them that their opinions and experiences are invalid! It declares that others who disagree are somehow less.

It is a mechanism of force and creates resentment and compliance, not collaboration and commitment.

Who sees it differently ? Creates Commitment

Respects others perspectives. It encourages talk and sharing of ideas and allows every one to be equal and heard. When people not only feel heard but experience their perspectives as being valuable and being used they feel valued and start to become engaged participants.

Yes, it takes longer in the short run, but I also is faster long term as people dot feel the need to keep popping up and trying to change the status quo along the way. This sentence creates commitment even when there are differences, especially when there are differences!

Which sentence do you use ?