What do I want ? Sounds like an easy question to answer right ? Not! I remember about ten years ago watching Oprah and listening to her speakers talk about creating a life that follows my bliss. It sounded like English only I did not know what it meant ? My bliss ? What is that ? What do I want ? I didn’t have a clue. All I knew was that I hated the life I was living and could see no way out.
Even more disturbing, no-one had ever asked me that question before, in fact, speaking about what I wanted was a total no-no! You just did not speak about what it was you wanted! Ever! But here is the thing, if you don’t know what it is you want, how are you going to create it ? How do you create a life you want to live ? To move from reaction to creation you have to start living from vision which means you have to start answering that one simple question, what do you want ?
Here are some thoughts that may help you get started.
1) List What you Don’t Want!
This is often an easier place to start because we are so engaged with what we don’t want (and then surprised when all we get is more of what we think about, but that is another blog post entirely). Take your top five things you don’t want and now, ask yourself this question, “If this was not in my life, what would be there ?” Start to reframe those things you don’t want into things you would rather have.
2) Let go of what you want and focus on what you want to FEEL!
Yes, feel, because at the end of the day what we want is to feel differently and how we do that is by creating a list of things we need to have in our lives. What will happen if you stop focusing on what you want and instead start focusing on what you want to feel…and then start doing things to create those feelings ?
3) Get a coach
The point of a good coach is that they allow you to start engaging with yourself and they help you start to answer that one question, what do you want ? I would not be where I am now without my coach and the ability to self coach. Coaching is a conversation where the coach listens and helps you not only focus on what you want to create, but also helps you become aware of the conversations that run your mind and so your actions. Can you do this without one ? I guess it is possible, although I know that I could not!
4) Start practicing and creating now!
Let go of needing a complete vision of the life you want to live and allow yourself instead to focus just on today. What do you want for today ? How do you want to make today different from yesterday ? What could you do today that will bring joy and contentment and pleasure into your experience ? The more you practice feeling good today, the clearer the answer will become.
If you are asking yourself the question, “what do I want?”, you are trying to move from reaction to creation and that is a process. It is possible to create the life you want to live, but first you need to know what it is you want to create! There are no right answers, there are no wrong answers. Every answer you find will help you become more aware and so help you move into your power. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself time. Know also that your answer will change as you grow and learn.