Creating the Right Relationships
How different the world would be, if we gave other people permission to live their lives without requiring them to be bound irrevocably to us. When did we get taught to collect people and hold onto them so tight that we never let go ? Even when it would be best for everyone to go seperate ways… creating space that is now available for someone new. Yet we hold on with some idea about endless loyalty, not understanding that relationships are supposed to be two way streets, things that add value to your life as well as the other person’s.
Even more odd, we create relationships with the wrong people in the first place, people who do not think like us and sometimes, do not even see us, it is almost as if we got taught somewhere to grab onto anyone who comes along and then do whatever it takes (sacficing ourselves if necessary) to keep them. Then, after we put in all this work, we wait in frustrated expectation for the person in front of us to do the same thing, repay our sacrifice and start to notice us and fulfill our needs, just like we fulfilled theirs. When they don’t, we don’t move on, no, we stay and try harder, slowly loosing ourselves and our belief in people.
What would happen if instead of filling our lives with people we instead carefully selected the people we want to share our lives with and in that selection process, we actually were honest about who we are and what we want (from life and people) ? Yes, we may ‘scare’ away a lot, but the one’s who stay will be worth spending time with.